They say that when you go to heaven, there are volunteers helping you park your car. Then every five minutes a shuttle comes by to take you to the main entrance.
The driver greets you with a big smile, everyone seems in a good mood, wearing caps like it’s school field trip day.
They say the weather in heaven is always amazing, the beach is close by, and from the shuttle you can already see the heavenly neighborhood: white villas with terracotta rooftops.
At the entrance, there's a sign that says “Welcome to Real Club Valderrama.”
Once inside, everything’s neat and well-marked. It’s like a massive green garden with perfectly trimmed grass and plants, where people play golf, electric carts glide around, there are games for kids… and for grown-ups too.
The fairways feel like carpet, lined with ancient cork oaks — maybe even millennial ones, of course — and there are lakes and walking paths that get you anywhere.
And since it’s always sunny in heaven, they’ve got water fountains all over the place to keep you hydrated, and sunscreen dispensers to take care of your skin..
There’s even music. Real flamenco. Live.
And since you're in heaven, legends like Mickelson, García, Rahm, and DeChambeau just show up — playing golf right next to you.
I mean, what else would they be doing?
You see good ol’ Ian Poulter joking around on the putting green, and David Puig smashing balls down the range.
Abraham Ancer going head-to-head with the greats — God mode.
But the best part? I’ve run into many of you up there.
In heaven.
Welcome. Bring some friends. We’re gonna have a good time.
Have a great weekend, Golfers!